Shame is tough. In my first attempt at college, I had a hard time asking for help. That led to me getting behind, and finally in my third semester, I knew I wasn’t going to make it. I was so ashamed and proud that I could not ask for help, I could not talk to an instructor and seek the understanding I needed in order to pass the classes. The inevitable happened and I was kindly asked to vacate the school. At that point, I had to tell my employer, and to tell my parents, both of which were very disappointed in me.
The shame was so thick, I felt like I had to part it like curtains just to walk through life. I got through, but I didn’t have to struggle as hard as I did. Later in life, I struggled through rejection, a poor marriage, a pregnancy she chose to abort, the death of my father, divorce and finally, getting tied into a no-win job at IBM. Shame, rejection, depression and fear ruled my life.
Then I hit bottom after losing a house, and a career, and I had to turn somewhere. I found that if I asked God for help, he was there. I would spend my time in the car saying over and over, “God is my provider, I will not worry.” He brought us through.
But back to shame, In Romans 10, Paul quotes Isaiah in verse 11, saying, “As Scripture says, ‘Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.’” The Him is Jesus Christ, the savior, the intercessor, our priest, our friend. There is nothing that Christ cannot forgive. There is nothing he will not do to bring you closer to him. We just have to get out of our own way.
It is my testimony that life is better, easier, more joyful, more peaceful with Christ in it. It is my experience that life is hard, but Christ is simple, and shame free.